Grass doesn't grow on busy places

Being bald you notice the weather more. I briefly left my cosy flat to buy some groceries from Tesco and the wind chill factor on my head was at least 10 (what on earth is a wind chill factor? why don't they just say it's fucking cold don't leave the house?).

My head doesn't fair much better during the summer months - though luckily living in London the sun rarely shines.

I'm not sure why I have recently decided to embrace my baldness...I have for a while been donning various hats in an attempt to disguise the lack of follicles. The hats have become a bit of a trade mark, for a time it was wearing sunglasses. In the sun, in the rain, in the day, at night, whilst awake, whilst asleep...my Bono moment. With the hats I think I was having an Edge moment, I have seen one picture of him in the last 10 years not wearing a hat. He even got married in that black beanie. Now my current "trademark" is a pair of fake glasses...inspired by Michael Stipe. My rock star pretensions again. Though I am thinking it's a bit David Hockney as well (which is good) - unfortunately with out that shock of blond hair he was sporting throughout the sixties and seventies.

One of the more interesting quips i have heard about baldness is that it is "the solar panel for a sex machine." Which may in fact be quite close to the truth...one theory as to why men go bald is that excess testosterone in puberty does something or other, see here for the science behind it. So to go bald at 23 I must have been one randy teenager. Though I don't recall my teenage years being anything like Skins. A frustrated teenager might be a better description.

A friend of mine, Richard, once said to me on failing to pull in a nightclub, completely deadpan "well, its because i reached my sexual peak at 14". He was obviously doing a lot better than me.

This might all be adding up to bad news - men reach there sexual peak at 22...so it looks like Richard and I are fucked (or not!).

My mum's comment on baldness is the title of this post, "grass doesn't grow on busy places", something I think she got from my grandma or granddad. I don't recall which. I think what she means by this is that grass doesn't grow in cities, airports, motorways - busy places. This got me thinking though...could be extended to other parts of the human body...par example, when "with" a girl for the first time if downstairs is all neat and in order does this mean she might be a bit "busy"?! Conversely if she is a bit "wild" down there does that mean you might be going somewhere no one has gone for a while?

It's an interesting question.